Divorce changes almost everything about parenting logistics, but screen time is one of the areas that catches people off guard the most — because it's not just about what you decide, it's about whether the other house decides the same thing.
Why this is harder after divorce, specifically
In an intact household, inconsistent screen time enforcement is a private argument between two parents who see each other every day. After separation, it becomes something a kid experiences directly, every time they move between houses — and something two parents often only find out about secondhand, days later, from the kid themselves.
That delay is what makes it corrosive. By the time you hear "well Dad said it was fine," the rule's already been tested and the kid already knows which house gives more.
Decide what you can control and start there
You can't control what happens in the other house. You can control three things: what happens in yours, how clearly you communicate it, and how you respond when your co-parent's rules and yours don't match.
Start with your own house's rule being clear and consistent enough that it doesn't bend under a kid's pressure. A rule that flexes depending on how tired you are or how hard your kid pushes isn't really a rule — and it makes any future conversation with your co-parent about consistency harder to have credibly.
A reasonable starting framework
If you're building this from scratch, a workable starting point most family counselors would recognize:
- A daily time limit appropriate to your child's age (see our age-by-age guide for starting numbers).
- A firm device curfew in the evening — devices off or out of the bedroom at a set time, every night, in your house.
- Clear rules around content and apps, separate from time limits — a kid can be within their time limit and still be looking at something you wouldn't approve of.
- A plan for what happens when the limit gets broken, that you'll actually enforce consistently.
Bringing it to your co-parent
If your relationship with your co-parent is functional enough to have a direct conversation, propose your framework as a starting draft, not a finished demand — see our full guide on building an agreement together for how to make that conversation land.
If the relationship isn't there yet, or every attempt turns into a fight, you don't need agreement on everything to make progress. Even getting alignment on one or two non-negotiables — no phones after 9pm, no devices at the dinner table — is worth pursuing before trying to agree on everything at once.
When your co-parent won't engage at all
Some co-parents won't discuss this, full stop — not because they disagree, but because any conversation feels like conflict they'd rather avoid. In that situation, focus your energy on your own house being airtight, and consider sending something short and low-pressure rather than a full proposal: a one-page starter document is far less likely to get ignored than a multi-page contract. That's exactly why we built a free, one-page starter agreement — sometimes the easier version is the one that actually gets read.